Most individuals when they hear the term “coaching” envision someone advising, directing them on what to do, or transforming them into an entirely new individual.
However, coaching does not involve being directed on how to be living one’s life.
Rather, it is a guided discussion that enables you to get to know yourself better, organize your thoughts, analyze your options, and move from ambiguity to taking action. Coaching provides you the room to stop, think, and examine your life, goals, difficulties, or decision-making processes more objectively.
At times, you are aware that changes need to be made.
You may be experiencing feelings of being stuck, confused, overwhelmed, being distracted, or simply being unclear about your next move. You have set goals but are not sure about how to proceed. You may even be aware of the situation, but you keep repeating the same pattern.
And here comes the role of coaching.
Coaching will not change you in any way. It will only provide you the opportunity to hear yourself better, identify what is holding you back, and make a realistic next move.
One of the greatest misconceptions regarding coaching is the notion that a coach will provide instant solutions to their coachees.
Coaching is not about being told “Do this,” or “Make that choice.”
Rather, coaching enables an individual to ask better questions, find patterns, and uncover what lies underneath the situation.
Whereas advice gives an immediate answer, coaching builds awareness and ownership.
Let us take the case where an individual is experiencing difficulties in making a decision.
Advice could make him see which decision sounds more appropriate.
Coaching would enable him to uncover the real reason behind his inability to make decisions, what his values are, what is driving his fears and what would be his desired outcome.
One of the major misconceptions related to coaching is the belief that the coach has ready-made answers for you.
The coach does not tell you: “Do this” or “choose that.”
Rather, he/she helps you to learn how to ask the right questions, see the pattern and understand the true situation behind it. In contrast to advice that provides you with an instant answer, coaching enables you to develop awareness and ownership.
Thus, if you have to make a decision, the piece of advice will simply indicate which choice seems more appropriate to the one giving the recommendation. Coaching will help you understand the reason for the difficulty in making the decision, the underlying values, fears and the most important thing for you in the outcome of the situation.
A quality coaching process is not simply centered around one situation in isolation.
It will help you see patterns.
Perhaps you are consistently indecisive. Or perhaps you shy away from challenging interactions. Perhaps you say yes too easily and become depleted as a result. Perhaps you are great for a few days and then you fail to be consistent after. Perhaps you know exactly what you want to do, but you wait for when you feel like doing it.
This happens because the pattern feels familiar.
In a coaching process, you can see the pattern without being judgmental about it. You have a chance to recognize the pattern and choose differently.
This is the reason why self-awareness is so critical in coaching. This is not self-awareness as a way of simply having more thoughts. This is self-awareness that can lead to actions.
Many people seek coaching as a result of confusion.
This might be about having too many ideas, too many commitments, or too many paths. You might seek personal growth, yet you don’t know how to start.
In the coaching process, clarity is developed in small steps.
Some questions that you may discuss in a coaching conversation include:
It might seem like easy questions, but answering them sincerely will help you change your perception about the situation.
Sometimes, clarity doesn’t necessarily mean having the whole picture.
Sometimes, it means knowing what is your next right step.
Reflection is crucial, but coaching goes beyond that.
Most sessions typically end with some action to take. This could be a choice, a small act, a new method of handling a conversation, an experiment with a habit, or a question that one should keep thinking about throughout the week.
The action does not need to be dramatic.
On the contrary, small actions tend to work better since they are more likely to be repeated. Coaching allows individuals to shift from “I should make a change” to “This is what I will do next.”
This is very important.
Most people get trapped in never-ending cycles because their aspirations are too broad and vague. “I would like to be more confident.” “I would like to grow.” “I would like to make changes in my life.” Coaching enables people to transform their wishes into some action.
The coaching process will feel calm, truthful, challenging, and relieving at once.
You might feel understood because there is a listener who is not jumping to conclusions right away. You might feel challenged because of the questions that push you to think further. You might feel uneasy because you spot an old pattern you tried to ignore all along. And you might feel relieved because your thoughts start to form some kind of order in your head.
This is how it should be.
Progress does not have to be always noisy and noticeable.
Sometimes, it is rather a quiet realization.
And coaching provides you with a proper environment for that.
There are numerous ways coaching can assist individuals.
If any of the following applies to you, you could benefit from coaching:
One does not necessarily have to be experiencing problems to make use of coaching. It often works best when someone knows that they need change and want to go forward, yet they need some help doing so.
Coaching is not psychotherapy. Coaching is not a lecture. Coaching is not another person making decisions for you.
Coaching is not a solution that transforms all areas of your life with just one meeting.
For coaching to be most effective, it requires you to be open and honest about your reflections, to assume responsibility, and take some action in-between sessions.
This is the essence of coaching. It does not deprive you of your power but enables you to use it.
The process of transformation always begins when you have more self-knowledge.
If you know your desires, obstacles, and what action should be taken next, the process becomes easier. You do not wait for the best time, but you work with the existing options right now.
Coaching provides you with a chance to transform stress into clarity, confusion into direction, and repetitive behavior into intentional actions.
This process creates opportunities to think, but it also creates reasons to act.
A coaching session does not involve trying to become someone else.
It involves knowing who you are in a deeper way, asking deeper questions, and making decisions in a more conscious manner.
When dealing with a decision, building self-confidence, changing a behavior pattern, or searching for guidance, coaching helps you see what is going on behind the scenes and take action in a more informed manner.
At CHE Academy, coaching involves personal development and practical action.
One does not need to have all the answers from the very beginning.
Sometimes, it is during the session that the answers emerge.
